Cyberstands

The thing is, if you get a little bit of shit in the water you kinda wanna throw the whole glass out. - David Farrier in The Art of Laundering (Fake) News
any noun can become a verb if you don't care enough

This point is invalid unless you use an example in your sentence

I CAN SENTENCE HOW I WANT THANK

BEAUTIFUL

you see thats why i love english

I like to velociraptor around my house at 2 in the morning

GOOD

My headache makes want to clothesline into a wall

why do these make some semblance of sense 😧

Beacause brains don't brain logically

Brains do brain logically! But when english doesn't logic englishly, brain brains by itself to logic that english !

I hate that this makes sense

- Tumblr thread
Meddle not in the affairs of dragons for thou art indeed tasty and crunchy and go well with ketchup! - Stolen from PapaBear
If anything in this book offends you, please feel free to buy and burn as many copies as you like. Volume discounts are available.

- Richard Tucholka, Stalking the Night Fantastic
(n) a small, unpopular religion.

(n) a large, popular cult.

- Slashdot sig
Pinnocchio: "I'm not a puppet! I'm a real boy!" Guard: "Five shillings for the possessed toy." - Shrek
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. - Stolen from Moggy
The only thing seperating lovecraft enthusiasts and hentai addicts is the blurry line between fear and arousal. - the-unseelie-court-official on Tumblr
Mary had a crypto key and she kept it in escrow, and everything that Mary said the fed's were sure to know. - unknown
It’s still better than doing drugs or JavaScript. - Hrvoje Čavrak on building A computer from 1948 in ICMP packets
I'm a pheasant plucker, I pluck mother pheasants, I'm the most pleasant mother pheasant plucker pheasant ever plucked a mother pheasant - chatty`katty in #dominateradio
Only when you are sure they have you, can you stop being paranoid. - unknown
<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? - bash.org
If you find yourself going through Hell... KEEP GOING!! - cdnangil
Fidelity: Unadulterated boredom. - unknown
I read of a ritual to summon a demon. It involved some chanting while standing in the middle of a pentagram with a pound of burning hash at each point. My opinion of this is: "If you're standing in the middle of five pounds of burning hash and think you'll see a demon then, by God, you WILL see a demon." - Fenris
The difference between a collision avoidance system and a targeting system is a sign bit. - arok on Reddit
Quidquid Latine dictum sit, altum videtur. - Latin proverb
A Million Monkeys can inflict worse things than just Shakespeare on your system. - Stolen from John Carter
Anyone who says high schoolers should read Moby Dick 1) Doesn't know any fifteen-year-olds; 2) Has never read Moby Dick; or 3) Has read Moby Dick, has a fifteen-year-old in the house, and wants to get even. - Susan Ohanian in Insults to the soul.
There are some people who are so irritating that merely ignoring them is somehow unsatisfactory; every fibre in your body screams out at you to grab them by the throat with both hands, shake them until their teeth rattle, and shout in their face "We're not fucking interested, understand? And you're a waste of space!". Sadly, my newsreader doesn't seem to implement this feature. - Tequila Rapide in alt.peeves
In the beginning there was the word, and the word was "No."
From this sprang desire.
After that, everyone's story is different.

- Gible Fog
My body is a temple, and I'm an atheist. - paraphrased by Gible
You just have to think of it like... the first time you had sex. You have to ask yourself... "Daddy? Are you sure this is right?" - Tank Girl
Motivation and procrastination are just the same thing. Procrastination is the motivation to avoid what you need to do. - whisperingsage on Reddit
Judge: "Can't you settle this out of court?" Defendant: "That's what we were doing when the police arrived." - unknown
Anticipation and need are best teased until it seems an eternity, and only then sated. - Gible Fog
Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself. - unknown
The propeller on a plane is really just a fan, when it stops you can see the pilot sweat. - unknown
>>>> In the dog world, humans are elves that routinely live to 500+ years old.

>>> They live so long... but the good ones still bond with us for our entire lives.

>> These immortals are so kind, we must be nice to them.

> Now I am old. The fur around my muzzle is grey and my joints ache when we walk together. Yet she remains unchanged, her hair still glossy, her skin still fresh, her step still sprightly. Time doesn't touch her and yet I love her still.

For generations, he has guarded over my family. Since the days of my great, great, great, great, great, grandfather he has kept us safe. For so long we thought him immortal. But now I see differently, for just as my fur grows grey and my joints grow stiff, so too do his. He did not take in my children, but gave them away to his. I will be the last that he cares for. My only hope is that I am able to last until his final moments. The death of one of his kind is so rare. The ending of a life so long is such a tragedy. He has seen so much, he knows so much. I know he takes comfort in my presence. I only wish that I can give him this comfort until the end.

- Joey meme
There are 10 kinds of people. Those who can read binary numbers and those who can't. - Marlayna on XKCD Forums
Art is just an arrangement of matter that flows forth with endless beauty. It's humans inside human-made economic structures that ruin everything. - A robot in SMBC's AI Art 2
As we benefit from the inventions of others, we should be glad to share our own…freely and gladly - Benjamin Franklin in his autobiography.
...no amount of behind-the-scenes wizardry can compete with "Ooooh! Shiny!" <sigh>

- Marcus Watkins in An Experiment in BlackBerry Development: Lesson Learned Writing PodTrapper
You know how they say necessity is the mother of invention?” ... “What they don’t tell you is who the father is. Curiosity. Let’s have a go and see what happens.” - Ubik U. Ubik in Deeper Darker.
Usually a person who needs very little, needs that little so very much. - Steal Heart on Google+
The Matrix described 1999 as the peak of human civilization and I laughed because that would obviously not age well but then the next 23 years happened and now I’m like yeah okay maybe the machines had a point. - Dave Wiskus on Twitter
They only call it class warfare when we fight back. - Aceofshovels on Reddit
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. - Terry Pratchett
Some people are like a slinky ...
Not really good for anything,
But you still can't help but smile
When you shove them down the stairs.

- unknown
This is about the only reason why democracy stinks ... ethics and reason are always outnumbered by ignorance and greed. - NingunOtro on Stars! Home World Forum
Knock-knock.

- Who's there?

Under the Patriot Act, we don't have to tell you that.

- houghi's sig on Slashdot
It’s okay… if I was wrong about stuff as often as you are, I’d cling to the possibility of being right like a life raft, too - Ian in Tales of MU
Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected us as kids, we'd all run around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music.

- Stolen from fer0l
Crazy was a safety blanket word for me... I don’t like insane because the word itself requires a sane with which to define against. Crazy has no opposite. - Heather in Katalepsis
A mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorums. - Paul Erdos
If Tetris has taught me anything, it's that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear. - unknown/meme
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Stars! Home World Forum sig
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. - IRC quit message
What has occurred over the course of the last few centuries is a growing (but by no means universal or certain) recognition that science gets the job done, while religion makes excuses. Sometimes they are very pretty excuses that capture the imagination of the public, but ultimately, when you want to win a war or heal a dying child or get rich from a discovery or explore Antarctica, you turn to science and reason, or you fail. - PZ Myers, biology professor in Saving gods by making them even emptier of meaning
"beat me"

"No"

- Anon
We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, for so long, with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing. - Konstantin Josef Jireček.
Sometimes a democracy seems like a bad relationship that you just can't shake... you know you're being lied to, but we manage to convince ourselves over and over that a psychotic date is better than no date at all. - skuzzlebutt on Slashdot
My aunt just bought a new coffee-cup holder for her computer so she can burn more coasters. - Wishes
Arguing on Usenet is like running in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you're still retarded. - James McGuigan in rec.games.computer.stars
It's the whole analogy of the broken refrigerator: you have to FIX the fridge, you can't just reorganize the rest of your life around not bringing frozen food into the house. - thepolylife in polyamory
Why should I love God? He strung up his only son like a side of veal. I shudder to think what he'd do to me. - Marquis DeSade
Don't be so humble - you are not that great. - Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat.
[While waiting for launch] I was thinking that the rocket had twenty thousand components, and each was made by the lowest bidder.

- John Glenn, pilot of the first manned US space flight.
TUESDAY. The day you realize that nothing can stop you, because you are a MAGIC SKELETON packed with MEAT and animated with ELECTRICITY and IMAGINATION. You have a cave in your face full of sharp bones and five tentacles at the end of each arm. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING, MAGIC SKELETON - Chuck Wendig via knowyourmeme.com
Allies come and go, but enemies accumulate. - emperor with no clothes
so r we gonna talk about anything that has a point?

of course not. :P

apparently dman254 is new to irc

- bash.org
If people do not believe that mathematics is simple, it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is. - John von Neuman